Likewise Dr Leslie Greenberg, the developer of Emotion Focused Therapy in a recent Couple Therapy Training Workshop claimed that it is easy for couples to lose sight of the fact that the other person is a subject in their own right as we often objectify our other half.  It is easy to slip into the state of mind of thinking to ourselves "Is my partner meeting my needs?" rather then turning it around and thinking of them as a subject in their own right with their own dreams, needs and wants.  Greenberg asks us to have "Compassion" for our partner and "the ability to see that the other like oneself is seeking happiness and have concern for their suffering".(2)  The ability to reveal our subjective, personal primary emotions like fear, sadness or shame, showing our vulnerability to our partner, can be a powerful means of accepting differences and finding a place for them in our Relationship.  As Harville Hendrix says "Want a great marriage be a great partner!"

Bibliography

1.  Harville Hendrix, "Living Your Dream Relationship: the Four Non-Negotiables", Public Lecture, Balmain Town Hall, 17th Feb 2010.

2.  Dr Leslie Greenberg, Emotion Focused Therapy; The transforming power of emotion in in couples", Workshop for practitioners, Sydney, 13th Feb, 2010.